My Years of Rejection
by Asimple74
Summary: He had rejected her from the beginning. She had chosen to be isolated, avoiding him. Life makes circles. They meet years later dealing with the remains of their attitude. Edward X Bella,AH
1. Chapter 1

**My Years of Rejection**

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

This story's plot belongs to me.

**A/N: About this story: ****The first chapters will explain the nature of their relationship during their teen years. The second will be about some years later, after school.**

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**Summary:**

He had rejected her from the beginning. She had chosen to be isolated, avoiding him. Life makes circles. They meet years later dealing with the remains of their attitude.

**Chapter one** : She's nothing.

BPOV

Alone, again. I don't even know why do I even bother to volunteer here. The library is always almost empty during Friday afternoons.

"That's the normal situation Bella," I reminded myself. It's Friday night, everybody has plans. People go out during Friday nights. They go to the movies, and restaurants, and parties. They go to friends for sleepovers, or prepare weekend activities.

It is Friday night and I will do none of the above. That was the reason I had excepted this shift anyway. It was the best way to avoid my father's comments about no meeting friends, or watching the game with him and his middle-aged companions. No offense, they all are good and kind, but I could not stand being with them for more than half an hour.

What I was really missing was having someone to talk. Talk about me, my life with dad, my dreams for the future, the book I finished yesterday and the one I started today.

My mother could be that person but she is away. Florida is not an every-weekend destination, plus she has a different life there, a new husband, and they will soon start traveling again. Sometimes I was missing my previous life with her in Arizona, before her second marriage.

I left Phoenix two years ago at the age of fifteen, sophomore year. I was living there with Renee, my mother, since I was one. Four years ago she met Phil and they made the big decision a year later.

I was okay with that.

Things turned different when Phil was hired by a baseball team and he had to start traveling. I decided to come back here, Forks Washington. Charlie, my father, was thrilled plus he doesn't hover. He is the chief of police here.

I soon realized that he was a very lonely chief, so had our house. It was not a mess but the absence of a woman was obvious. So, during the first months I was totally determined to give a little quality to my father's everyday life. I started cooking and cleaning and making as many improvements in the house as I could. I was already a little ahead in school so there was no need for to much homework. I had free time, but...

But, I had none to share it with. The school was small. Someone would expect that they would welcome you right in front of the entrance hall and help you with everything since day one.

That had not happen. Instead, I embarrassed myself by loosing my balance in front of everybody while I was stepping inside that hall for the first time.

My shoes were totally inappropriate for the climate in Forks. I loved my chucks but a good pair of boots would have saved me from the ultimate humiliation. Slipping on the wet floor and landing with my face attached to it. The laughs were spreading like fire around me, and the whispers...

"Is she new?"

"Chucks, were does she thing she lives now?"

"Nothing special, and obviously clumsy."

I was trying to get up when I noticed a hand in front of my face. I took it and when I turned my head to look it's owner I met the two most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. Green and piercing. They were attached to an equally exquisite face. A face with a strong jaw, a perfect nose and red full lips. Then the lips started moving and a velvety voice asked, "Are you alright?"

I had nodded yes and stood up trying to hide my awkwardness by straightening my shirt and my stained jeans. My jacket was still on the floor next to my school bag.

"Ok," I heard the boy saying and watched him leaving.

Another student passed right beside me, and another one, and another one. I had started feeling a little confused. Was I invisible? And then I heard someone else talking:

"Hey, she is not bad, not pretty but her body seems to have potentials," a blond boy with the air of overconfidence spoked.

"She's nothing," a different male said. I looked to see if I had mistaken about his voice.

No, I had heard right, it was the boy with the green eyes. I walked outside and stayed there until the bell rang. I was almost wet. At least that would cover my tears.

I knew I was nothing. Brown eyes and hair, thin shapeless body, braces and cheap clothes. Ordinary to the bone. I just was not used to people reminding it to me. In Phoenix they all knew me since diapers and I had my friends since kindergarten. They were excepting me as I was. Here, I had fights to give and I didn't know just how ready I was for them.

During those two years I learned a lot about my classmates. The irony was that the pretty boy was in my year. We even had some classes together. Since my first day at Forks high I had learned one and a very important thing:

Edward Cullen, the green-eye god, considered me as "nothing." Worst case scenario: he was the first candidate for participating to the school paper from our class. I would have to see him more often. I had already been excepted . My advanced classes and some good articles in Phoenix had given me the advantage.

If I had known it would have cost me countless Fridays without company, I would have hidden that advantage in my mind, among other thoughts and unfulfilled wishes.

The time was almost 9.00, closing hour. I was about to turn the lights off and leave when the door bell rang. That only meant someone had just entered. I was buttoning my coat when I heard a familiar voice asking.

"Hello, can I return this book? My mother couldn't return it herself and I forgot to take her card."

And by that, a perfect Edward Cullen was standing in front of me holding his also perfect girlfriend by her waist. Worst case scenario.

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**A/N: Please take the time and review if you like or not this start**. **There is no Beta for this story. Please, don't shoot :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**My Years of Rejection**

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**A/N: Thank you all for the alerts. This is the second chapter. I need your opinion about the story. The first chapters will explain the nature of their relationship during their teen years. The second will be about some years later, after school.**

**I do not intend to keep writing chapters that nobody reads, art for art is not my thing. Please tell me what you think about this story and also about the others. You can find them in my profile. If you don't want to review, a private message would be nice. I am open to suggestions and wishes, please be creative. Thank you all.**

**PS: The Road Trip Diary is completely new, please show some love.**

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**Summary:**

He had rejected her from the beginning. She had chosen to be isolated, avoiding him. Life makes circles. They meet years later dealing with the remains of their attitude.

**Chapter two**: I wanted to turn to dust.

_End of previous Chapter One:_

_"Hello, can I return this book? My mother couldn't return it herself and I forgot to take her card"_

_And by that a perfect Edward Cullen was standing in front of me holding his also perfect girlfriend by her waist. Worst case scenario._

BPOV

"Hello Bella," Edward said with his usual, a little, cold tone.

We would be seniors in a week. For two whole years he was keeping a distance from me. Although we both worked in the school paper all this time his behavior had no progress.

He almost…avoided me.

"Hello Edward, hello Tanya," I greeted them both.

I had to admit, they were a perfect match. Edward had changed a lot lately. His teen look had turned to a more mature one. Looking at him you understood his youth but also the characteristics of a man. He was popular, as always, but didn't talk much.

Tanya is a beautiful girl. Blessed with good genes, nice hair, skin, body and athletic type. She knew her physical strong points but she had them combined with a good mind. Tanya is not a bimbo and I...almost wish she was. I told you they are a perfect much. Both beautiful and smart and...sexy as hell.

The got paired up during junior year when Tanya moved here from Alaska. Nobody was very surprised but a lot of people, especially the female population – probably not only the students- were disappointed. Edward Cullen never had a "girlfriend" till then. I knew. I was one of them, secretly of course.

"Don't worry about the card. Your mother doesn't need it here. We all know how much she has helped the Library," I told him and took the book checking the bar-code.

All this time I was trying not to look him in the eyes or were his left hand was. I knew were it was. Around Tanya's delicate, thin waist, his long fingers almost grazing her hip. Tanya looked a little...flushed. I couldn't blame her. He was hot as fire.

"Is there something else Esme would like to get?" I asked, trying to distract myself and stop looking like a miserable virgin.

"No, that is all for my mother, Tanya do you want anything? He asked the girl with a low...seductive tone.

"No, nothing from here anyway," she answered, looking straight at me.

"Okay, thank you Bella, good night," he said and turned to leave, playfully pushing Tanya in front him.

"Good night Bella, enjoy your weekend," I heard her saying as they were reaching the door.

"Good night to you too," I replied and finished buttoning my coat.

"I'm sure you will both have a nice weekend... especially a nice Friday night," I mumbled.

Bitterness had started running through my system. The mix with frustration could become explosive.

Two different smells were left inside the room after their departure. An expensive female perfume and a less artificial, more natural smell, like soap and clean clothes. That was Edward's smell. I was studying it for two years.

I wanted to be away from that smell. I quickly turned all the lights off and locked.

Early September nights are usually chilly in Forks. My dry Chevy truck looked very inviting. In about ten minutes I was parking outside my house. While driving, I was thinking about the couple and the smells. I wondered if I was smelling nice. If people recognized me by my smell and if they...liked it.

That night went as usual. So did the weekend. So did the whole next week. The only exception was that I finally got rid of my braces and did some shopping.

It was Thursday and I went to my dentist in Port Angeles. I was waring "them" for five whole years due to an unusual structure of my upper teeth. They had small gaps. They were not THE problem but they could become in the future. My mother insisted I should suffer as a teen and not as a thirty something woman like her. She took them off before her second wedding.

I was so used to them that when I heard the doctor saying "give the pretty lady a mirror dear" to the his assistant, I thought he was talking for someone else.

They were gone, for good. I must have been holding that mirror for ages before Ellen, the assistant, gently took it and told me.

"You are done with them. Now who ever this lucky guy is he will be able to kiss you properly," she told me and winked. Was I so obvious that even a woman who had seen me a total of ten times could tell I had a crush one someone?

"Hmm... How did you assume...I... But I didn't finish my question. Ellen was already smiling with an "believe me I know" look on her face.

"Oh, don't worry dear. I'm older and know better. I hope he will be worthy of you, you are a nice girl Bella," she told me and gave me my papers. I just thanked yer and left. I was feeling relieved.

Not that suddenly the lack of braces would make the world look at me differently in a day, but it was a kind of progress. Renee would be thrilled, she had already send me some cash to celebrate the "event".

So, Bella Swan tried to go shopping. It was worst than the braces situation. I didn't know even the right numbers. I was ready to "abandon the ship" when a small girl approached me. She looked my age.

"Hi, I'm Alice and I just want to say that blue is definitely your color," she said and started bringing lots of blue things in front of me. Finally she told me she was working there for the summer, convinced me to try lots of dresses, shirts and jeans and I left with three bags and a 200 dollar bill in my wallet. She was the first person who had given me so much attention since I left Phoenix.

Monday was the first day of my senior year. I was up early as usual. After showering and eating breakfast with Charlie I left for school.

My program was about the usual senior courses plus the paper. This year I expected to have more authorities... if they would let me.

After the sixth period we had a meeting were this year's chief editor and the head of the design team would be announced. I was a candidate for the first but I knew I wouldn't get it. I was not popular...enough. The teachers usually didn't even remembered how I looked. Let's be honest. Things like that were important.

My suspicions were correct. I would still write my usual articles about new books and the news. Edward would be the head of the design team and to not my surprise, Tanya would be the chief editor. I told you, a perfect match. I was the first one to leave the room.

My tears belonged to me and I didn't want to share them with anyone else. I got in my truck and thew my head on the will. I had left it away from the other cars in the lot. It was old, and ugly and noisy. No need to hear their comments every morning.

I cried. A lot. I could suffer the coldness, the loneliness, even the tasteless comments about my clothes and my car, but I just couldn't stand this kind of rejection. I had worked so hard for that position. It would be perfect for my scholarship applications to colleges. Then I would just leave and they would forget about me. Was that much to ask?

I was feeling so... bad, I hardly heard someone knocking on my window.

With watery eyes and possibly a red nose, I slowly turned my head left and through the mess of my hair, I saw him looking directly at me with a very serious gaze.

I wanted to turn to dust. Of all the people it had to be him, the last person I would want to see me in that state. The worst thing was that I was positive he already knew why I was crying.

Edward Cullen

**A/N: Please take the time and review. I adore reviews. Those kids have a past... in their own way. Should I continue writing about it? What do you think?**


	3. Chapter 3

**My Years of Rejection**

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**A/N: **Thank you all for the support, the alerts and the reviews and please multiply them, I love people telling me their thoughts about my stories.

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**Summary:**

He had rejected her from the beginning. She had chosen to be isolated avoiding him. Life makes circles. They meet years later dealing with the remains of their attitude.

**Chapter Three****:** WHY?

BPOV

He was looking straight at me. The feeling of been intimidated was there, one more time. It was like that always.

Edward was by nature a superior creature. He was beautiful, with the physic of an athlete and the confidence of an over achiever. Perfect GPA, good in sports, the perfect student. It was sure he would have no problem to be accepted in any college he would choose. Everyone knew his parents were preparing him for a bright future.

The Cullens had a tradition in attending Harvard. His sister Rosalie was already there. She was a previous chief editor of the school paper two years ago. I had never meet her but from a brief look at her work I had to admit, she was a very capable person. Edward had a very high level legacy on his shoulders.

When I first joined the paper, the previous chief editor, Jessica Stanley, was very severe with me. At first I thought it was my imagination but month after month I had noticed she was harder and harder about my work. Not that the others were less pressed, but sometimes I could feel a hostility towards my face. Difficult deadlines, boring subjects, work that all the others in the team were trying to avoid. I had become her trash can, you know, the "it is a dirty job but someone has to do it" person. I had reached next to my limits.

Edward was always there and his presence was making me feel more of that "nothing". He would hear, watch, do his part of the work, but he had never said a word in my advance. We were both in the same year but solidarity and mutual help were absent among us.

The others were treating him like god. Even the older students couldn't avoid his charm. Sometimes I wished he was a total asshole so that I could get him out of my system, but I was always frustrated by how far from it the truth was.

Except from that day he had said I was nothing, I could not remember anything else been said about me by him. It was like he was avoiding even referring to my name. Unfortunately his

behavior was not something the others had put aside.

The Cullens were the meter about everything in our small school. About clothes, parties, sports. If they were somewhere or if they did something it was the "in" place to be or the "cool" thing to do. If Edward had woken up one day in the mood of changing the official school colors , everybody would have followed his vision. If he would say that the earth is finally a cube, people would believe him. What was bothering me was that he did not seem to care about the whole extreme attention he was getting. I had to try harder in order to find a real reason to hate him.

The fact that Edward was totally indifferent about me was not a good sign. We were not "friends" but neither "enemies." We were supposed to work as close as two partners would have but we had the minimum interaction between us. People kept ignoring me when he was around. They would only ask him about projects we both were involved. The were smiling when he smiled and were looking pensive when he was pensive even though they didn't even know the reason behind his mood. So, when Edward was looking at me without an obvious emotion they did exactly the same. I was invisible. The geek with the braces, who thinks she can write. I was different but not in the popular way and he knew it.

The most awkward moments were those when both of us had to stay late in the paper, alone. It had happened two or three times but for me it was always a stressful situation. I was usually working without talking, just helping him rearrange the layouts for the pages and search for errors before printing. The only difference during those nights was the fact that we were listening to music. Not the usual radio stations but his own CDs. I had to admit, he had exceptional taste. That music was very unusual for people of our age. I had recognized Debussy and Chopin from the classics, a very good adaptation of "heart and soul", some jazz moments, all performed with piano.

One of those nights I had timidly asked him about the artist. He said that I wouldn't even know him, that he was not famous and he would never become. I could have swear he was lost in that music if I had not noticed him staring at me with his cold gaze a few minutes before leaving the atelier.

The same kind of stare I was facing that awful day after the meeting about the paper. Although the glass on my door was dirty, with stains from the rain, I could see it clearly. I watched him tapping one more time, motioning for me to open the window. I quickly dried my tears with my sleeve and lowered the glass, asking him with a cracked voice the most basic question:

"What do you want?"

He continued staring for a rather more than expected number of seconds. Then something very unexpected happened. His expression had hardened and his lips had formed a narrow line. His jaw looked so tensed one could easily assume it was about to break. But the most surprising change was the color of his eyes. Instead of the piercing green emeralds there were almost like made from black onyx. Edward had showed emotions. He looked furious.

It took him a few more seconds to return to his cool demeanor and finally, with his velvety voice he said.

"I want nothing, you forgot your bag in the atelier earlier."

He had verbally canceled me one more time. I grabbed the bag and without even saying "thank you" I started closing the window but I was not fast enough. I saw his hands on the glass, showing me he wanted me to stop.

"There is also something else you forgot there," he told me and passed me the paper with the team schedule I had not even bothered asking myself.

I took it impatiently and shoved it in my backpack with no interest at all. I knew that I would just see they would have managed, he and Tanya, to just have all their hours together and I would have to do most of the dirty job as usual. That could wait a little longer.

In no time I had closed the window and start the engine. Edward was still standing there. When he understood I was about to go, he moved aside, just enough so that I would not hit him. I left without even looking at him. If I was not sure it was only my hopeful imagination I would swear I had heard him mumble a lifeless "Bella … I'm sorry," behind me. He was calling me only Isabella and sorry was a word Edward was using like it was the last drop of water on earth.

That night I had finally called my mother. She had caught my bad mood from the first second.

Our conversation didn't last long. The only thing important about it was that she and Phil, her younger husband, had found a house in Jacksonville-Florida and she wanted me to visit them as soon as possible.

The next morning all I wanted to do was to dig in my bed and make a black hole ready to consume me without mercy in the middle of it. Unfortunately I went to school in order to suffer among barbie dolls and cool attractive green eye gods.

After the last period Tanya asked for the team to join her in the paper for a brief meeting. When I got there nobody had appeared yet. I was fifteen minutes early. A visit to the toilet filled the time gap. I was ready to get out of there when I heard two familiar voices talking . It was Tanya and Jessica. They were in front of the mirrors, ten feet away from my spot.

"I told you it would be like this. With Edward's approval in the back pocket of your jeans you would never loose the position", Jessica laughed annoyingly.

"I have to leave you dear, I came here just to congratulate you and give you the keys to the atelier"

Jessica said and Tanya responded immediately:

"Thank you Jess. Mm... I think Edward and I will have a great time there," she said in a naughty tone. It could not see them but I would swear she winked.

"Well, he is a pretty unique asset if you know what I mean," Jessica added in an amused tone.

I knew exactly what she was implying. Edward Cullen was just cool outside but fire inside. The whole school was talking for weeks when he and Jessica had disappeared for about two hours in the atelier with the door locked, the second week of junior year, before Tanya's arrival. The rumors went wild but they stayed rumors, just a little polished by Jessica herself.

"Well, I definitely do," Tanya answered, without hiding a rather obvious amount of disturbance.

"Anyway, just keep an eye to that little virgin-bird, Swan. She was eying that position for years, and possibly your boy too," Jessica warned while their voices were weaker. They were leaving.

"Edward is mine." Tanya warned.

"As for the position, my father has already made a good donation to the library and I have promised to the principal to use my family's connections in the paper's benefit. Sponsors, money. That is what makes the world go around today. Swan has nothing to offer or promise, Edward had told me that the whole candidate validation process would be like a walk to the park," she finished and their voices just fainted without further warning.

I was mad. Like really really mad. Four years reserved for me to show my talents, where over powered by a promise. Nobody had told me I could rely my future on a simple promise. Edward knew about my dream of going to a good college. He knew I craved that position and he had probably advised Tanya what to do, what to … promise.

I felt like fainting. While almost shaking, I shoved some water on my face and looked at my image on the mirror. The tears had appeared again and they were burning like venom on my pale cheeks.

"Enough," I whispered. "Enough, enough, enough," I continued, feeling my head heavy and breathing hard. I needed air. In a desperate attempt to avoid collapsing there, I got in the corridor, almost running.

Luck was not with my side that day. I was so upset, I did not notice the person that was moving towards me with grace and style through the empty corridor.

In tree seconds I was bumping on a hard chest, that smelled nice, that smelled … very familiar.

Edward, again. But this time things were different. I had finally a solid reason to hate him. He had pimped his girlfriend in the worst way – back-doors- and totally not for my benefit.

I took a few steps back and stood with my palms in fists looking at him straight in his eyes. The odd thing was that it seemed like he knew an explosion would happen, like he was reading my mind.

During the next seconds I was not Bella. I took deep breath and asked:

"Why Edward. Why nobody told me I could promise?Why?" I insisted.

"Why do you hate me? Why is everybody avoiding me? What have I done to you anyway?"

"You don't even know me. Why, why ?" I asked, while shaking with sobs.

All this time he was whispering

"Bella, don't ..."

"Bella, not now..."

"Please, stop..."

I could only see him and no one else. Suddenly I became aware of his gaze. He was looking behind me...frozen.

Timidly, little whispers started filling my ears, like drops of venom in my head.

"What is her problem?...She is so jealous...She never liked Tanya...Look at her clothes...They say she is unsteady like her mother...This is not Arizona..."

I was searching for a word of compassion or at least...pity.

Nothing."Enough,"I told my self and I exploded.

"Shut the fuck up," I shouted, holding my ears with my palms.

"The hell, all of you and this little snake-hole you call school, I'm done," I said and pushed Edward aside in a desperate attempt to get out.

I needed to breath.

It was my last day in Fork's High School.

I had had enough.

I never returned there.

**A/N: Please take the time and review and tell me what you think. Creative comments are necessary if you want this story to get updated soon. Thank you !**


	4. Chapter 4

**My Years of Rejection**

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**A/N:** Thank you all for the support, the alerts and the reviews. Sorry for the delay in updating.

**Summary:**

He had rejected her from the beginning. She had chosen to be isolated avoiding him. Life makes circles. They meet years later dealing with the remains of their attitude.

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**Chapter Four****:** Leaving Forks.

_End of Chapter Three:_

"_The hell, all of you and this little snake-hole you call school. I'm done," I said and pushed Edward aside, in a desperate attempt to get out._

_I needed to breath. It was my last day in Fork's High School. I had had enough. I never returned there_.

BPOV

The flight from Washington to Florida was just not long enough. It was not long enough for me to form a solid explanation about my sudden decision to leave Forks. Renee was of course thrilled to have me back, and Phil would be okay, but leaving at the beginning of the school year was not a Bella thing to do. My mother would definitely want to know what exactly had happened. She was not as tolerant as Charlie, with my vague answers.

After my "impressive" exit from school, two days before my flight, I was a different person, for a while. Although I knew I had just insulted the whole school, I was feeling much...better. For once I had the attention of everybody, for once I was not invisible, for once I left all of them speechless. Most important, I left with my head up, angry but relieved and without crying. I didn't even returned to get my things from my locker. Later, I left the key to my father. There was nothing embarrassing or important inside it anyway.

I hardly remember driving back home. It seemed like my track was mechanically returning to our drive-way. Through the whole drive, I was preparing my self about telling Charlie my decision to go and live with my mother, for the rest of the school year. Me and Charlie had established a comfortable father-daughter relationship during the last two years. We were close, but not close enough to discuss about everything. He was discreet and supportive, and trusted me. I told him what happened, leaving out my crush for Edward. I was embarrassed about telling him that I had literally been disrespectful and totally out of order, but I wanted him to know the truth from me first, not the principal, or the gossips from parents around town. Forks was a small community. It would be inevitable for Charlie not to hear about his daughter's tantrum in front of the whole school.

My father looked worried and sad and a little...angry. At first I thought he was angry for me, his pride and joy, embarrassing him. It took him a few minutes to explain that he was angry with the school, for supporting discrimination among students, and with himself, for not helping me be more social and popular. Deep inside I knew he understood that the truth had nothing to do with him. He bought the ticket to Jacksonville the same afternoon. He and Renee discussed a little on the phone but I guess they had left a lot to talk about for later. The next day, Charlie took care of all the paperwork needed for me to change schools. I could guess the looks he had received from the school secretary and my teachers. I was feeling terribly uncomfortable about leaving him alone there, but I just didn't want to see anyone.

The day before my departure, I had literally nothing to do. I had packed everything the previous night. I had not much to prepare anyway, clothes and some books, only the important ones. I cleaned the house, did grocery shopping, prepared some meals for Charlie, but still the day looked endless. It was noon when Charlie called to tell me that everything had been taken cared of and that he would return from the station very late at night. I decided to walk a little and enjoy the cold air. Florida had a nice climate, warm and inviting, but I would always miss the cool Autumns in Forks. Changing season.

I was lazily wondering around, avoiding places were my schoolmates could possibly be, although it was still school time. I passed the Library, making a mental note to leave another key to my father. It was usually empty in the mornings. I didn't bother going inside, though I thought I saw someone familiar in. I was convinced that my mind was messing with me and that a copper-head man was there. I quickly erased the delusional thought from my mind and walked away. The lady there would surely know about my behavior the other day. I finally reached the path towards the woods.

I used to take long walks alone near the forest, but I had never followed that path. That day, it seemed like a good idea. I guess I was feeling bold enough to deal with the mystery, I always thought was hiding there. I was a different Bella, for a while. Though I kept watching my back and worry about the small noises around me, I was enjoying my walk. It was like discovering a new world around me. I had been in the forest again, for a project in Biology, but I was with almost 40 other people and the teacher . We had taken the wide path behind the school and I was so focused in collecting samples of plants, I had missed the pleasure of the walk itself. It was time for a payback.

After an hour, I had reached a small pond and decided to rest for a while. I couldn't avoid the thoughts though. I was repeating the events in my mind over and over again. Tanya, Jessica, my classmates and...Edward. His face was the last thing I remembered. Being more calm I brought that face back in front of me. He didn't look angry as I would expect. He looked embarrassed and a little...hurt? My memories went further back, to the day before my outburst. The day he had seen me crying. That day he looked much more tensed. My mind stopped for a while. He had given me something that day after school. The schedule for the paper. I still had it in my backpack and and had not bothered checking it out.

I searched my bag and found the folded paper. There was no meaning in checking it out. I was no longer a member of the school paper. Maybe in Florida I would have a better chance in writing. I was almost ready to just forget about it when a wave of curiosity guided my fingers. I opened it and started checking names, dates, works to be done. After a brief scanning I was literally an emotional mess. My whole schedule was arranged so that I would work full time with Edward. Every day.

A feeling of regret and frustration clouded my head. And then I saw his face again, mirrored on the surface of the pond. He was standing right behind me. I screamed.

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**A/N: I know this chapter is short. Please tell me what you think and correct me about mistakes of any form. I have recently updated "Wedding Rehearsal", give it a try if you have time.**

******Please, leave me some reviews. They will be appreciated and I will reply. I need to know if you really like or not this story.********Thank you for ****reading :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**My Years of Rejection**

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in updating. You are all wonderful, especially those who press me more!

**Summary:**

He had rejected her from the beginning. She had chosen to be isolated avoiding him. Life makes circles. They meet years later dealing with the remains of their attitude.

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**Chapter Five:** Misunderstandings and truths.

_End of Chapter Four:_

"_A feeling of regret and frustration clouded my head. And then I saw his face again, mirrored on the surface of the pond. He was standing right behind me. I screamed."_

_BPOV_

I was breathing hard and my heart was pounding like there was a drum inside my chest. Edward had totally taken me by surprise. After my scream, I put my hand on my mouth and closed my eyes. The feeling of embarrassment was slowly becoming physically obvious in the form of that traitor blush I was cursed to host on my cheeks. And of course it was meant to be Edward the receiver of another terrible image of me. I was a mess. Between my thoughts and the soft noise from the wind, which I could swear was not around earlier, I managed to hear the boy talking to me.

"Bella, it's just me, Edward," he said and I felt him moving closer. I was still sitting on a small rock, avoiding looking at him and biting my lower lip. I was a second away from tearing it with my teeth when I felt him seating beside me and heard him whispering:

"Are you okay?" It was a simple question but in my mind sounded a lot more complicated. I could pretend, just say yes and walk away. No interaction, less harm. Or I could just say the truth. I went with the second. There was no point in being proud or indifferent and I needed to finish what I had started the day before. The change.

"No," I answered, after I had removed my hand from my mouth and my eyes were open but a little closer to the water in front of them. I could see more of him on the surface of the lake. Even his mirroring was beautiful, in shape, colors, position. Feeling some kind of spell emerging from the water, I threw a small stone in, causing tiny waves, destroying that capturing view. It was enough for me to continue talking.

"No, I'm not okay," I said and turned to finally look at him. He was almost three feet away, standing on his knees, his hands playing with a small pebble. He was examining the small slick rock like there was a big mystery about it.

"Why are you not in school?" I finally asked and sat more comfortably on my rock. For some reason, I had stopped thinking about my appearance. I was wearing my most comfortable jeans, a plain blue t-shirt and my favorite hoody. They all had seen much better days. I had my hair on a simple ponytail and that was all. That was me.

"For the same reasons you are not," he answered and took me by surprise one more time. I was still holding the print with the schedule. But it was a tight ball of paper and ink in my left hand. I assumed I had done it abstractly after I read it.

"And why am I not at school Edward?" I couldn't help a hint of venom in my voice. I hated using ironic tone or comments. I always thought that irony was the weapon of cowards. But I had to admit, it felt as power at the time. The truth was, I was curious, very curious. And I had time to kill.

Edward shifted a little and sat on his rock Indian style.

"_Is he making himself comfortable?" _I was definitely not expecting that. All these years our interaction was as minimal as possible. There was nothing "comfortable" about it, except some lonely nights in that studio, when those hauntingly beautiful melodies were spreading calmness and piece in the room. And the odd thing was, from a distance of time and circumstances, they were good nights.

"There was a misunderstanding. I am sorry. I..." he tried to finish but I was faster.

"Edward, yelling at you in front of the whole school was not a misunderstanding. At least from my point of view. That was a fact. I believe you know why I did it...Right?" I asked, watching him carefully. He looked collected but a little more pensive than expected.

"I met your father at school. He kind of told me some things," he said, nervously rolling the pebble on his palm.

"I had no idea about what the girls had discussed. Most of it is true except from a specific detail. I never helped Tanya. She was more than capable of showing off her skills and her connections. I guess it runs in her family. That is what I am here for. There was nothing against you Bella. I think you took things a little more personally..."

I stood in silence, trying to absorb the meaning of his words. I was already angry that Charlie talked to him without me knowing. He had obviously met him at school. I was confused.

_He ditched school just because he wanted me to have a decent opinion about him? No, Edward Cullen is not that stupid, _I thought and then broke the silence.

"Are you telling me that you never said a good word for her to the principal or the teacher responsible for the paper? You know damn well they would deny you nothing Edward."

"No, her family is a great sponsor. Tanya is just my girlfriend and...She is good Bella."

I took a deep breath and turned to look at the water again. I could not argue there. Money or not, she was more than capable of running the paper. I could not say the opposite. I had the feeling that our discussion was going somewhere I would prefer to avoid. Cause deep inside, my blood had started boiling.

"I know she can be less sensitive sometimes, but there a lot of things that people expect from her. It is not easy..." he trailed of and stopped talking for a while.

I was upset. If he was there to defend Tanya, he should have thought better. But his words had bothered me more, for a different reason. Edward was right. There were people who expecting success from her, in everything. The same thing went for him also. That was another major difference between me and their world. My parents were simple and low profile people. They had never asked me to be the best in anything, they had no great expectations. A sudden feeling of misery and loneliness had conquered my whole existence. I was probably the only one who had great expectations from my self. I guess they all had seen that before me. Edward was just reminding me that.

"Are you here to talk to me about Tanya? Or you? Cause you are right. People are counting on you. Both of you," I said and I stood up.

I could speak with a study voice but my eyes were already wet. I needed some distance. I took another pebble and threw it on the water. I only wanted good references and a rich curriculum, but it was just me.

"No, I am here to talk about you...us," he said, motioning between us.

"If this is about what I said at school, don't bother. I am not sorry." I continued throwing pebbles on the surface of the pond, each time with more force, like I was trying to convince my self I could be the winner. Cause I thought we were on a debate.

"No, it is not about what happened at school." His tone was very serious but his voice was low. We both stayed in silence one more time. I could feel him standing only inches behind me. We were both standing and just breathing. His silence was making me uncomfortable.

"I don't hate you Bella." I heard him moving closer and my fist was almost one with the pebble I was holding.

"And I was definitely not avoiding you. You misunderstood some things."

_Of course, misunderstanding, the usual excuse._

"I see, my fault, again," I mumbled, my mind clouded by a sudden urge to throw the pebble at him.

Suddenly, I felt him grabbing my arm gently and turning me to look at him. He was painfully beautiful and dangerously charming and his gifts were working on me like the bite of an insect. I blushed.

"No, you do it again. You don't understand do you?"

_Were the hell is this going? _Was all I thought.

"What is that I don't understand? What is all this? Things are simple. In that school I would always be in the shadow. We worked together for years and people hear only what you have to say. I gave most of my free time for the paper and I had to work twice than any of you. I don't even understand why the girls were giving me a hard time. I saw many of my best articles being replaced the last minute with lame excuses. You could have helped a little you know..." I stopped and took a deep breath. It was his turn to talk. And he did.

"They were jealous of you Bella."

**A/N: Please review. Your thoughts are important and I can really use some encouragement. Thank you for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**My Years of Rejection**

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and it's characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in updating. You are all wonderful, especially those who press me more!

**Summary:**

He had rejected her from the beginning. She had chosen to be isolated avoiding him. Life makes circles. They meet years later dealing with the remains of their attitude.

* * *

**Chapter Six**: Jealousy.

_End of Chapter Five:_

"_They were jealous of you Bella."_

It didn't make sense. I thought I had heard wrong. But since he was there I had nothing to loose. So I asked.

"Jealous? About what?" My decision was made one hundred per cent but I was really curious. Frankly, his approach had started to bother me, especially when he tried to justify Tanya's actions. Whatever the reason, the target was me and the excuses about her behavior were lame.

Edward was looking at me straight in the eyes but the odd thing was the pressure I was feeling on my arm. I could have been mistaken, but I thought I sensed his thump slightly caressing my arm over my shirt. The gesture would have been too friendly if that was the case. He must had noticed my light discomfort and let my arm free, never taking his eyes away. I was waiting.

"Can we sit ..." was all he managed to say before the first aggressive stalls of the rain appeared on the surface of the pond. Fork's weather was not a surprise. I covered my head with the hood and pulled the zipper high, close to my neck, but I was feeling the water dumping all my clothes. I knew we were away from the road so the only temporary shelter would be a tree. Edward had no hood on and water was already dripping from his chin.

"Come with me," I heard him mumbling and his hand was again back on my arm. He was now almost dragging me towards the nearest dry spot under a huge pine tree.

The spot was wide enough for too people but we would have to sit down. Edward was already clearing the spot and I was left agape watching him. We were not "company". Still, I needed that answer. After a few seconds he gestured me to sit beside him by extending his arm towards me.

I stood in the rain for a few seconds, debating with my self. A loud thud was enough. I instinctively took his hand and by jumping over some rocks, I got under the tree. It was getting colder minute by minute.

"You don't like the rain, do you?" Edward was speaking right next to my ear and the goosebumps on my skin were definitely not only from the cold.

"No, I don't. I don't like wet...things. Ugh," was my response and it was the truth. I must have looked extremely disappointed. I was but it was not only the rain that was bothering me. The whole situation was awkward and the space between us was really small. I could smell him while _breathing._

_Damn he smells nice,_ I though and turn my face away in order to get some fresh air.

I felt him shifting beside me. He was trying to rearrange his position. Edward was a tall boy. I was so much smaller than him. I felt intimidated again. The rain was getting heavier. I guess I would have to endure this meeting longer than I could allow my self. He was silent. I was not sure if there was a point in bringing our previous discussion back. He surprised me though.

"Are you cold?" He sounded concerned.

"A little. I am sure you are colder than me. You are all wet." He was. I took a minute to "inspect" him with the corner of my eyes. No. Nothing less attractive. On the contrary , the guy looked even better. The color of his hair was darker and his eyes more green. His shirt was also wet and tight. I could not but marvel the well muscled but lean and broad shoulders, the flat stomach and what looked like perfect forearms. I had to look away cause the familiar the butterflies in my stomach should not be there. And then he started.

"I would be jealous of you if I was a girl."

I turned and looked at him with my mouth open. He was looking straight ahead, towards the rain. His arms were hugging his knees and his chin was on top of them.

"I am not surprised you didn't noticed. You were always so focused on achieving your goals and you made it look so easy."

_How do you know? _I wanted to ask but I let him do the talking. I had talked too much already.

"You always look sure about what you want. Needless to say about your marks and all the extra work you managed to complete. Some students were more intimidated by you than you think."

"Me?"

"Yes. We were all straggling to get a place in the newspaper and you showed up in school and got in immediately. Then we all found out about your advanced classes and read your articles."  
"You did?"

"Yeah. I have to admit Bella, your thoughts about drug problems and violence in school could be in every serious paper in the country. You were...are just too good."  
"I don't know," I almost whispered. I could not disagree that school was not that difficult for me. Still, it could be more pleasant. Cause where I was a total failure was socializing.

"And...there is more..." he added and turned his head towards me.

I felt a small hesitation in his voice and my curiosity was definitely killing the cat inside me. _More? _

"Did you see the time schedule for the paper?"

"Yes...I did," I mumbled, not sure if I should add my observations or not.

"We work good together Bella. You must have noticed the pairing. By that only, you should know that I don't hate you."

"Yeah...I noticed. I just don't get it though. What that has to do with jealousy. I always had the support role, could not take decisions upon myself and the others always counted your opinion more than mine." It was exactly what I thought was happening.

"About the hate part...It was what I was receiving Edward..."

"I may was a little distant but there is no hate Bella." His voice was steady but I could say he had more to add.

"Maybe we were both a little distant. And I think I kept some of our classmates by my side."

"I am confused," was all I could say. I knew he was still holding back something bigger.

"I am not sure how to put this. Let's just say that Tanya and the girls "thought" I ...didn't like you and they played along. When things went further than expected it was too late to prevent them from almost bulling you. I saw it too late. I was too focused on my interests and goals too. Yes, I could be more supportive." He paused and took a deep breath.

"You were just better Bella and I was too selfish to let everybody know about it."

Silence followed by both of us.

"You are leaving tomorrow?" His question was loud enough to break the mess of thoughts inside my head. Seemed a rhetorical question. Despite what happened there was nothing to make me rethink my departure. He had not even made things totally clear.

"Yes. I am," I said and stood up. The rain had stopped a few minutes ago and I could see the sun behind the clouds. Still , something was holding me back, under the tree. I turned and saw him looking at me, obviously expecting a more fitting reaction.

"I think you should stay," he whispered. I just stared. The guy looked disappointed if not depressed .

"Bella I...I am sor-: but the sound of my cell burned the moment. It was my father.

"Bells, I am coming home earlier. Jake is also coming. He want's to say goodbye...Okay?"

"Okay dad, I will be there soon," I replied but with not a particularly happy tone.

Jake...The only boy I though as a true friend there. Unfortunately he was a student at the reservation, otherwise we could have supported each other in Forks High. It was just that I hated goodbyes.

I put my cell in my pocket and started walking away from the shadow of the tree. I felt Edward following me towards a sunny spot near the pond, close to the path.

"Bella, wait." His sounded a little anxious and in a second he was walking beside me.

"I have to go. My father is coming home earlier," I mumbled as I was trying not to look at him.

We were now both walking through the path, almost side by side. He was too close again.

"So this is it?" I heard Edward whispering, almost like talking to himself.

"You don't have to follow me you know. I think you should go back to school. Maybe you can still avoid detention for ditching." I must have sounded really cruel but all I wanted was to have my head clear again. Edward's presence was not helping.

"It is almost three Bella. School is over," he answered and I stopped walking.

"I...I kind of lost the time were there." It was the truth.

"Me too." He sounded serious and slightly...satisfied?

We had just reached the road and I knew that his house was on the opposite direction. We stood awkwardly at the side, waiting for someone to speak. I finally spoke first.

"Weird situation. I am still confused."

"I know. Seems my talking skills are a little disoriented when it comes to you." He paused and kept looking at me.

"Listen Bella... I may be late but I am ..." This time I waved him to stop. There was no point. I was suspecting the whole thing would be about "sorry". I just didn't need one.

"It is okay Edward...See you." And I left. At that point there was always the debate of turning to see for reactions. I won. I did not look back.

A horn behind me took my attention on the road. Jake was looking at me with a Mona Lisa type of smile on his face. Later I found out it was both about disappointment and encouragement.

* * *

As the voice of the pilot was informing us about landing, I searched for the little wooden wolf hugging from the charm Charlie had bought me for my birthday. Jake told me that it symbolized protection. I knew he just wanted me to have it so that I would remember him. I would anyway.

The last thing I checked was the ball of the totally rumbled paper I was still carrying with me. It was in my messenger bag. But I had no explanation about why it was not in a trash can.

Half an hour later, a tanned Renee and a new house made things a little brighter.

* * *

**A/N: Happy new year everybody. I missed you all. Please tell me what you think. Thank you for reading!**

**PS: Go read: ****"Habits of a day"**, by Natalone09. Very different style of writing .


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